


Baby Bloomer

by Depressed80sGay



Category: The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius
Genre: Family friendly with a bit of gay, Kids trying to be parents, M/M, Weak writing, movieverse, short but cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-09-14 10:16:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16911078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Depressed80sGay/pseuds/Depressed80sGay
Summary: Jimmy has been assigned with, none other than, Nick Dean in a new domestic science project, only to find out it's a bit more of a challenge than he thought it'd be.





	1. Kiss The Bride

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If Jimmy seems a little OOC to you in this story, this takes place within the Movieverse.
> 
> Cuz to me, the movie and television series aren't necessarily aligned.   
> ...for many reasons.  
> ...and because I want to!

It was 12 am at Lindbergh, just after recess time had ended. Home Economics was not yet in session. Every classmate sat at their assigned seats, gossiping, throwing paper airplanes around, or just chewing gun. Jimmy Neutron, however, was tightening the hinges on his new invention, the phon-o-ceiver. Normally, he would chat with his best friend Carl before class begins, but Carl was assigned at a more farther seat, next to Sheen’s. Without having to deal with any distractions, he can catch up on his work. Too soon, someone tugged the back of his hair, forcing him to drop his tool. That action was done by none other than Cindy Vortex herself.

_“I hate having to take a back seat to you. Literally!”_  
_“What’s your problem, Vortex?!”_  
_“Like you haven’t heard me just now. I’m tired of your big stupid head blocking my front view!”_  
_“Move your head to the side if you happen to have some dispute with mine!”_  
_“I have, for three months! Either put your head down or shave it!”_  
_“Like I’d do either for you.”_

Cindy gave another tug at Jimmy’s tall hair, leading the boy genius into pulling her by the pigtails. Like everyone expected, a heated argument took place between them, followed by some complex dialogue that left the other students lost. The girls and boys started whispering rumors to each other in regards to their relationship. Carl and Sheen just stared at the feud. Libby paid no attention to the drama, for she couldn’t notice anything with her CD turned up high. Nick put his magazine down for a moment to peek what’s going on, shrugged, then continued reading as if it was an everyday thing to him. Abruptly, everyone’s positions then changed, shutting their mouths and sitting up straight. One swallowed their gum. Libby took off her music, then stuffed it into her purse. Jimmy and Cindy’s arguing kept on, with the class surrounding them feeling uneasy, until finally silenced with a loudly, beastly voice.

_“QUIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!”_

The two recognized that battle cry.

_“Mrs. Pampers! Oh, hi! Lovely day we’re having! Why didn’t you tell us you were in the room? I mean, who would have expect?”_  
_“I did, Ms. Vortex. Three minutes ago.”_

Jimmy and Cindy felt humiliated how they let their grudges get out of hand like that, and in front of a teacher too. Mrs. Pampers headed straight to her desk as usual, and began her lecture.

 _“Okay, class, for these last three months, we have been studying the aspects of both household and family management. Why do we need to learn this stuff? Well children, all of you are not gonna be small forever.”_  
_“Wanna bet?”_ Muttered Jimmy.  
_“It’s only a matter of time before you’re old enough to get a job, move out of your parents’ place, get married, and furthermore, having a little bundle of sunshine to call your own!”_  
_“Why would I wanna give up my freedom for something that cries and poops?”_ Also muttered Libby.  
_“So, we learned all there is to nursing a baby! Feeding, burping, grooming, bathing, changing, medical health, putting the tot to sleep, childproofing your environment…”_

Her list went so on and on. Who knew taking care of an infant took so much work.

_“Hey Cindy, how long is she gonna keep on?”_  
_“Probably by the time we have our own kids.”_

Finally, as she finished…

_“…and we even got to witness the miracle of birth happen right in front of our eyes!”_

Everyone cringed at the same time. They wanted to forget all about that labor documentary, but no thanks to Mrs. Pampers for bringing it up again.

_“Just to make sure you children know so much as you say you do, we’re gonna take on a real life experience!”_

She pulled out a sack of flour from under her desk, donned with a diaper.

_“YES! We’re finally gonna do cooking!”_  
_“Uh, no Carl. This will be your child.”_  
_“But I haven’t even gotten engaged yet. I’m not ready for a family.”_  
_“You’re practicing it. That’s what the flour is for.”_  
_“Wouldn’t it be easier to practice it on a real baby?”_  
_“Now Carl, do you think it’s a good idea to leave a living and breathing baby with a ten year-old tween?”_  
_“That depends, if that tween has ever-”_  
_“Shut up, Carl!”_

Carl sat up straight, then took a dose from his inhaler.

 _“As I was saying, class, this isn’t just an ordinary sack of flour, or however it may look to you, but just for a whole day, this will be your newborn baby, and you are to treat it like one too! Feed it, groom it, change it, and put it to sleep! It’s worth a grade! Make sure your baby comes back in one piece! We do not make pancakes out of our babies! Oh, and you won’t be doing it alone! All of you will be working in pairs of two!”_  
_“Pairs of two?!”_ Cried the class.  
_“Yes, pairs of two! Like married couples! I will be picking two random names, and with that, you will be assigned to said person.”_  
_“Is this an arranged marriage?”_ One student spoke under their breath.

The teacher lifted a drum raffle from under her desk, filled with strips of paper with names already written on them. As she operated the crank, the children watched as the bits of paper flew around in the spinning lottery machine. Anyone could have anyone, and they will be stuck together whether they like it or not. Cindy has dreamed about marrying Nick and being the mother to his kids, so she hopes one of those two names will be them. Of all many times Cindy has attempted to get Nick to go out on a date with her, and always left rejected, now’s finally the right opportunity. She put her hands together, and prayed for a miracle to happen. _Please, me and Nick! Please, me and Nick! Please, me and Nick!_ Carl did the same, praying for his own miracle. _Please, me and Jimmy! Please, me and Jimmy! Please, me and Jimmy!_ The teacher stopped and reached in for two strips.

_“Sheen and Libby!”_

The two groaned loudly in disgust. Mrs. Pampers called the new pairing up, staging a fake wedding for them. She held up a textbook, which Sheen and Libby sat their hands on from opposite sides. After a short speech, and some _“I do’s”_ spoken from both of them, she handed them their own sack. They are to name their baby, and decide on its gender.

 _“I guess it won’t be so bad, Libby. Look, we brought a new joy into this world.”_ Sheen said, lifting up his sack into the air.  
_“Is it too late for a divorce?”_

Mrs. Pampers cranked the machine again, reached in for some names, then called them out.

_“Cindy and Carl!”_  
_“WHAT?!”_

As Cindy turned her direction to the allergy boy himself, Carl stared at her like he was in face with a serial killer. He shyly grinned and waved at her. She’s just as mean to him as she is to Jimmy, so the last thing Carl would wanna do is get on her bad side. Cindy took her attention off of him, laying her head down and groaning in disappointment.

_“Well, on the bright side: I didn’t end up with Neutron.”_

As Carl and Cindy walked forward to Mrs. Pampers’ desk, Cindy shoved him on the way there. As before, the wedding took place, there came the “I do’s,” although Cindy almost backed out, then they were handed their own bundle. Cindy just snatched the flour to herself, wouldn’t let Carl hold it. Again, the teacher gave the crank another turn, opened the hatched, then reached in for some more names. Whose the lucky couple this time?

_“Jimmy and Nick!”_

The whole class gasped, including Cindy. She couldn’t get to Nick, but apparently her rival could. Not only were they shocked that they were both boys, but Jimmy and Nick together, they were such an odd combination; The champ and the loser. Nick was surprised, but not as shocked like everyone else. Jimmy was all in jitters from the inside. He was given a chance to work close with the boy he had eyes for since 4th grade. Him and Nick getting married, and raising their own child, he awaited for that moment to arrive, even though it’ll only last a day. Only in a couple more years, it might become a reality. Jimmy was heavily sweating as he picked up his weight from off his desk, walking down that isle to his groom, while picturing it being real through his eyes. He tripped doing so, bringing his peers laughing. Nick, ahead of him, just rolled his eyes. The genius dusted himself off and proceeded, then placed his hand on that textbook. He grinned at Nick, but Nick didn’t grin back.

_“Do you, James Neutron, take this young man to be your accredited partner?”_  
_“I do. (I do! Yes, I do plus infinity!)”_  
_“And do you, Nicholas Dean, also take this young man to be your accredited partner?”_  
_“I guess, I do.”_  
_“You may now kiss– I-I mean, congratulations! It’s an all-purpose!”_

The teacher gave them their sack, and unlike the last two previous pairs, Jimmy and Nick both caught it together. They were starting to look like parents already. Jimmy grinned innocently at Nick once more. Nick seemed a bit touched, but he didn’t show it. The moment was then ruined by Cindy and her big mouth.

_“I object! Those two aren’t qualified for raising a baby together! Both of them are male!”_  
_“Cindy?”_  
_“Yes, Mrs. Pampers?”_  
_“This is Home Economics, not Politician Class.”_


	2. Late Bloomer

As school ended, Jimmy and Nick walked down the hall with their new child, passing multiple “parents” on the way, some being same-gender or opposite-gender pairings. Jimmy was pushing the sack on a miniature stroller, while Nick held a bag over his shoulder containing baby supplies. It was all pretend, but to Jimmy, it felt like a real experience. Jimmy and Nick are gonna spend the whole day together with this sack of flour like it were their own offspring, caring for it and nourishing it. He could use this training for reference in the future, if it is possible, when him and Nick start a family. Thinking about it right now made the boy genius’s face flushed. When you're a kid with an IQ of 210, you would know where babies come from at such an early age. Being paired with the most popular kid in Retroville, the nerd decides to play it cool, act like he never wanted or expected this.

_“So, Nick. You and me, much. Golly gee, this was fortuitous, I mean who knew it’d be the two of us of all pairs? Us, together. Wow! Nobody could’ve ever anticipated this contrary advantage. The odds were a 30 to 1 chance, but it happened anyway. Guess it was just luck. Wouldn’t you agree?”_

However, Nick had no response to that. Probably because he had a sucker in his mouth, or the real reason was that Jimmy sounded like a big fool. He just shifted his brown orbs to Jimmy’s direction for a few seconds, then back forward. Nice one, Neutron. Although, next time, try to keep your mouth shut. The two were on their way to the Neutron household. Since the apartment complex Nick lived in was rather small for them, he agreed Jimmy’s home was perfect for starting a work field, even having plenty of space. And it’s a good thing they’re doing it at his house, since the boy genius refuses to part from Goddard and his self-made technology.

 _“It sure was unexpected, yes.”_ Nick took the sucker out of his mouth, giving his partner a late response.  
_“Yeah.”_

……………………

We now move on to the Vortex establishment. The reason for playing parents at Cindy’s house instead of Carl’s was because of how many germs and parasites she predicts might be infecting the air, knowing the Wheezer lifestyle. Carl tried to convince her that the air in his place is always clean and safe to breathe, but he could never change Cindy’s mind, even if he was polite. Without the allergy boy’s consent, she had already named their sack, dressed it, and even decided on it’s gender. She dressed the flour sack in a blonde wig, with a big pink bow on top, and a purple frilly dress. Carl didn’t get to do anything. It’s just that Cindy scares him so much.

_“Can I at least name our little rugrat, Cindy? We are parents, so shouldn’t we work things out together?”_  
_“I told you, Carl, I already named her Petunia!”_  
_“But I wanted to name her Debi.”_  
_“Look at this, Carl! Does this look like a Debi to you? She looks more like a sweet scented flower to me.”_  
_“A flower?”_  
_“Yes, that’s why I named her Petunia, stupid. After the flower.”_  
_“Ha ha ha ha ha!”_  
_“What’s so funny?”_  
_“Ha ha, you’re a comic genius, Cindy! I get it! Flower, and flour! They sound the same, but have different meanings! That’s a clever pun there!”_  
_“Are you making fun of our baby?!”_  
_“N-no! I would never make fun of a baby!”_

This young girl was impossible. Mean-spirited and impossible. He tried to make a good impression, bring her into a good laugh, and he ends up getting spit in his face. At this point, Cindy was gonna hog the baby all to herself and leave no room for him. What’s the point of being parents if he won’t be able to do anything in the process? He wish he would’ve been assigned with Jimmy, his human comfort zone. They would’ve cooperate better, and agree on everything. In his opinion, him and Jimmy make a perfect duo for the job. So far, Jimmy’s been the only person he could ever rely on. Not only was he much smarter than him, but also had more encouragement. Jimmy always lended him confidence whenever he needed it at the hardest of times. The boy genius has done so much for him, yet Carl has done nothing in return for his friend. He always stood behind his back whenever the scary things came, but with him gone, he’s on his own for now. Carl felt there was much more to their relationship than meets the eye.

_“What are you planning on doing now, Cindy?”_  
_“I’m gonna feed the baby next.”_  
_“Can I burp her after?”_  
_“No.”_  
_“Okay.”_

Carl turned around and covered his eyes.

_“What are you doing?”_  
_“You said you were gonna feed the baby, right? I knew how my mom did it, so let me know when you’re finished.”_  
_“I’m bottle feeding her, you lunkhead!”_  
_“Bottle feeding? Moms bottle feed their babies?”_  
_“Of course! I mean, weren’t you ever bottle fed?”_  
_“No. I weaned at age six.”_

………………..

_“Stumpman! I won’t let you get anywhere near these helpless civilians with your evil league of vegetation! This ends now! EAT RAGING REPULSORS!”_

Sheen was having a little too much fun with his baby, hovering it around in the air as though it was flying, knocking down figurines of Ultralord villains. He appeared to be treating it more like his play thing than an actual newborn child. Libby walked into the room, after getting herself a flurp, and was not happy at what she was seeing. She put the flurp down, then snatched the sack out of his hands.

_“Sheen, what are you doin’? This is a baby, not another one of your dolls!”_  
_“One: Action figure. Girls play with dolls. And two, me and Toy Boy are having a little father-son bonding. Role playing brings a healthy parental relationship with your kid.”_  
_“You named our baby Toy Boy? Toy Boy?!”_  
_“Uh huh! Named after Ultralord’s faithful sidekick, alias to Bradley Hasbro! The heroic youth who will stand by his superior through thick and thin, even if it costs him his life! May he rest in peace by the way. Wanna hear his origin story?”_  
_“No, I don’t, and did it ever occur to you that I wanted to name him too? We were suppose to name our baby together, and then decide on what we agree on.”_  
_“Yeah, sort of, but I already named him first, so you’re a little too late on that! But c'mon, lighten up a little, Libs! Not a lot of kids get to be named after a famous fictional character! Picture what other people would think!”_  
_“(People would think, a child with a name like that would be much better raised in an orphanage). Well, it is better than Ultrababy, or Diaperlord.”_  
_“What’s wrong with those names?”_  
_“Many reasons, Sheen.”_

All day, since Libby and Sheen received their sack, have been arguing and bickering, like real dysfunctional parents. Each of them wanted to please the baby in a different way of their own, but they could never agree on anything. They more wanted to take the baby for themselves rather than collaborate.

………………….

Elsewhere, at the Neutron residence, Jimmy was holding the sack in his arms while bottle feeding it, with imaginary formula. What’s the point of wasting real artificial milk on an inanimate object? He even played with it and changed it. He already knew how to change a diaper, not because he was smart, but he had before when an experiment went wrong last time, involving his grandmother and some youth tonic. Goddard sat besides his owner. So far, Jimmy has been doing all the work, and Nick stayed out of everything. The bad boy right now was busy watching TV, with a tray of snacks, which Judy had laid out for her son’s “new friend,” in front of him. Jimmy thought he would be happy to take part in this assignment as he is, but then he remembered; Nick hasn’t gotten an A in any class, minus gym, so why would he want to put effort in playing house? He probably finds this work too childish for his image.

_“Aren’t you gonna help?”_  
_“Can’t talk right now, Neutron, my show is on. Wait for the commercial break.”_  
_“Niiiiiiiiick, don’t neglect Leonardo like this.”_  
_“You named it ‘Leonardo?’”_  
_“Yes? Did you have any other names in mind?”_  
_“Doesn’t really matter to me, but I was thinkin’ 'Wheatie.’”_  
_“'Wheatie?’ That seems a bit… …insensitive.”_  
_“Whatever.”_

Just as he thought. Nick didn’t care at all. He sees the sack as just an ordinary baking substance instead of an actual baby. Jimmy wonders, how would Nick feel towards a real baby? The boy genius didn’t really find fun in nursing a sack of flour as well, but it’s good practice for the real thing, in a future that could be him and Nick’s. So far, Jimmy and his partner hasn’t done anything together in this project yet.

 _“Can you at least hold him?”_ Said Jimmy.

Rolling his eyes in annoyance, Nick got off from the couch, coming to Jimmy’s request. As he walked to him slowly, Jimmy’s blue eyes widen in wonder. All he had to say was that, and that brought Nick into a change of heart? He thrusted the baby forward, letting Nick grab it with both hands. Jimmy let go, and Nick held it up high in the light, smiling. Jimmy was in a smile as well. Unfortunately, it only took 5 seconds, then he dropped the sack back onto his partner’s arms, instead of lowering it down gently.

_“NICK!”_  
_“I held it. You happy now?”_  
_“Can you try to pretend it’s a real baby for once? It’s worth a grade after all!”_  
_“It’s flour, who’s gonna notice? Mrs. Pampers never mentioned putting hard work into this thing wasn’t optional. All you have to do is bring it back the next day in one piece, and she won’t notice a thing. It’s an easy A! Everyone is happy!”_  
_“This is more than just a bag of grinded grains, it’s reference for a possible real life domesticity for when we become older!”_  
_“Why is this so important to you, dweed?”_  
_“I… uh… As a man of genius, hard work is very crucial in my form of attainments.”_  
_“I rest my case.”_

Nick didn’t wanna argue any further, so he just returned to his show. Jimmy wouldn’t dare let his partner know, or find out the real reason this project was consequential to him. It’ll probably give his feelings away. Sure, Nick has been a little nicer to the boy genius ever since his successful mission in saving the parents, and scrambling those space eggs for good, but overall, he’s still the same Nick. He probably will warm up eventually, just not now. Not knowing this young man personally doesn’t give him any right to judge. Perhaps, he’s just not ready yet. According to calculations, Jimmy figures somewhere in that cold young man is warm hearted, he just doesn’t like to express it. Maybe he should just give Nick a little more time. Or maybe, he should make this experience a little more authentic.


	3. Burning Down The House

It was Libby’s turn with the baby now. She sat it on a high chair, spoon feeding it pretend-baby mush. For every spoonful she’d deliver to its mouth, she’d wipe it off with a soft cloth. Sheen just sat at the table, arms crossed, looking at Libby with such displeasure. _She calls herself a good mother? There’s no mush in that bowl! Heck, my baby deserves more than mush! I say we order him a large sausage pizza with onions and ghost peppers! Hmmmm, I’m gettin’ kind of hungry._ Sheen was quite unsatisfied by the way Libby gave treatment to Toy Boy, which is how you’re suppose to care for a baby, and prefers to do it his way. But in all truth, he is just being selfish.

“ _Can I have a turn with Toy Boy now?”_ Asked Sheen.  
_“He’s not finished with his meal yet.”_ Replied Libby.  
_“What meal? You’re feeding him imaginary vegetable puree! Little Toy Boy needs some meat on those bones! Move over!”_  
 _“HEY!”_

Pushing Libby out of the way, and knocking the bowl out of her hand, Sheen rushed over to the fridge and fetched some food; A submarine sandwich, a bowl of pasta, and a tub of ice cream, he laid on the tray in front of Toy Boy.

_“Sheen, there’s no way a baby can eat all that.”_   
_“The best thing I know about babies is that their best talents are eating and sleeping! And doing that nasty stuff in their diapers.”_   
_“Is that the best thing you know about babies? Perhaps you forgotten that BABIES DON’T HAVE TEETH!”_   
_“Mrs. Pampers said we could visualize our baby anyway we want to, so I visualize my baby with shark fangs!”_   
_“Oh really? Does the real Toy Boy have shark fangs?”_   
_“Nitpicking will get you nowhere, Libs.”_

This Sheen kid really brought Libby’s blood boiling. He tries to be the fun parent, while Libby’s duty is the responsible parent. He takes advantage of everything without her approval, like what to name the baby or what their baby should look like. Would anyone want their baby to have shark fangs? Libby gives Toy Boy a bath in the sink, then Sheen just takes him out in the yard and turns the sprinkler on. Libby wanted to play pat-a-cake with Toy Boy, Sheen used him as a secondary player for his new Ultralord video game. Sheen even tried to teach Toy Boy how to fly like the real Toy Boy.

_“Can you stop suffocating my son with all that boring nonsense you’ve been doing all day?”_   
_“‘Boring nonsense?’ That’s how you’re suppose to care for a baby! It’s on the list! While Mrs. Pampers was teaching us, you had your nose buried in Ultralord comics!”_   
_“I know a lot about babies more than you do!”_   
_“No you don’t!”_   
_“Uh huh! I watch Rugrats! Babies wanna have fun based on wherever their fantasies take them, and eat cookies and bugs! I don’t need a teacher to tell me how to do a job right!”_   
_“You’re startin’ to get on my nerves!”_   
_“You’re starting to sound like a real wife; Whiny and naggy!”_

Suddenly, a ringing phone stopped their argument. Being Sheen’s house, he picked it up and answered it.

_“Hello? Oh. Libby, it’s your mom.”_

He handed her the phone.

_“Yeah, Mama? I told you, I would be at an acquaintance’s house for a project? What? again? I’ll be right over.”_

She then hung up.

_“My mom’s asking me over for a favor. However long it’s gonna take, I’ll be back. Could you PLEASE just watch over the baby and nothing else? Don’t teach it any combat skills, don’t make it learn how to bake a souffle, JUST WATCH HIM.”_

As soon as Libby left…

_“Finally, she’s gone! You heard that, Toy Boy? The mean lady is gone! You can do whatever you want now! Stay up late, eat nothing but chocolate ice cream, rent an R rated movie, you have my permission! As your father, I am entitled to giving you the best childhood of your entire youth, and I won’t let some nagging hag ruin- OH MY GOODNESS, ULTRALORD IS ON RIGHT NOW! You’re on your own, son.”_

Sheen ran over to the TV set, turned it on, then made himself comfortable, while leaving Toy Boy alone in the kitchen.

………………..

Carl peeked around the corners, looking at Petunia sleeping peacefully in her cradle. She looks so cute, Carl thought, even for just a sack of flour. He turned his head both ways, trying to see if Cindy was anywhere in sight. The area was surprisingly quiet. Now was his chance. Just in case the blonde is anywhere in another room, Carl tiptoed his way down that hall with ease. Cindy kept hogging the assignment all day to herself without letting him in on the experience, so Carl at least should have the opportunity to look at Petunia up close, maybe even kiss her on the cheek. If only Cindy knew Petunia is just as a real baby to him as she is to her. Why won’t she let him have his share in taking care of the baby? It could have something to do with her major dislike in boys. Carl was almost there. Daddy’s coming, baby. But before he could even enter the room, Cindy shifted right there in front of him, both hands on hips.

_“Oh, hi honey! I was just coming to get you.”_   
_“What were you doing, Wheezer?!”_   
_“Well, ya know, I thought I heard her crying, so I decided to come to her aid like any normal parent would.”_   
_“She probably started crying cuz she took one good look at you, Mr. I’m-Allergic-To-Almost-Everything-On-This-Planet! I don’t want you blowing any of your mucus on her and getting her sick!”_   
_“But… my nostrils are clear as a flushed toilet. Actually, my symptoms happen at unpredictable times.”_   
_“I don’t care! Keep your germs away from my baby!”_   
_“Okay.”_

Carl walked the other way, hanging his head down. She won’t even let him look at their baby. He could’ve been paired with someone else, but he got stuck with the girl who makes him weak in the knees. If Jimmy were here right now, he’d tell Cindy off for ridiculing his best friend. He’s probably having more fun with Nick. Carl wished Jimmy would’ve prepared him for a situation with her, like offer him one of his inventions, such as the Hypno Beam.  
…or the Girl-Eating plant. On second thought, he shouldn’t have to take any of this abuse from her. Jimmy wouldn’t like seeing him get chewed up and spit out by his worst enemy. His best friend has always believed in him, so he can’t keep holding back for the rest of his life. The world is growing around him, so eventually he’ll need to stand up for himself. No use in waiting for it to happen.

_“HEY, VORTEX!”_   
_“WHAT?!”_   
_“Uhhhh…. Uhm, I, I I I, Ohhhh, Errrrrr…”_   
_“Spit it out, but not on her.”_   
_“I think Petunia needs a bottle. Be sure to heat up her formula.”_   
_“Don’t tell me what to do.”_

Slam went the door in his face. He stood up against some royal Yolkian guards, so why can’t he do the same with a little girl in pigtails? Well, he didn’t really fought those guards, it was Jimmy’s knowledge that helped him. And with Jimmy absent from his presence, he can’t be brave on his own. He feels like he relies on Jimmy too much for confidence, and never giving any for himself. If Cindy wants it that way, he should just leave her alone. After all, they only need to bring the sack in one piece to get an A. It may be just another school project, but for once it looks like fun. He took a coat and hat from off the rack, then puts both on.

_“Honey, I’m going to get some air.”_

No, he was really on his way to the Candy Bar. He needed a drink.

…………………..

Nick was in Jimmy’s room, taking a nap on top of his queen-sized bed. Suddenly, loud shrieking noises woke him up, which sounded like a baby crying. What’s a baby doing in the house, asked Nick. He got up and followed the sound. There, in the living room, stood a happy Jimmy, with Leonardo laying on a carrier besides him. Could those crying sounds be coming from the sack of flour? Either that, or he’s hallucinating those sounds. Looking at that grin upon Jimmy’s face, maybe he made this happen. Don’t tell me he’s brought the sack to life.

_“Neutron, is it just me, or-”_   
_“No, it’s not you Nick, I hear them too.”_   
_“May I ask: WHAT did you do?”_

Jimmy picked up Leonardo for a moment, then opened his diaper from behind to reveal a hidden device, to which the crying is coming from.

_“Since through your perspective our baby seems nothing more to you than just an ordinary sack of flour, with this new fully operative contraption, the parental intimacy is now brought to life! Programmed with essential sensors, that detect certain motions and movements, makes it recoil like a real infant! Mind-blowing, is it not?”_   
_“Real mind-blowing, you’ve done it again, now make it shut up!”_   
_“Nick, we’re suppose to collaborate on this deal together. It may not be important to you, but it is important to me. Please, don’t make me beg twice; It’s your turn now!”_

Jimmy puts the sack in Nick’s hands, and decided to let him stop the crying on his own. Instead, Nick just took the device from out of its diaper, and smashed it on the ground. Goddard growled, for he couldn’t stand seeing a piece of machinery get mistreated like this, but Jimmy restraint him from getting near Nick.

_“You’re wasting your time, Neutron. Do you ever think about anything else other than your geeky work? I really feel sorry for you, and that’s coming fron me. It’s just flour! You could stitch limbs onto it and animate it through 500 watts of electricity, it’ll still be flour. It’s not a baby, it doesn’t move or make noise, it’s-”_   
_"Flour.”_   
_“Exactly. Just relax, do homework, whatever! Mrs. Pampers isn’t anywhere to stop us!”_

In vain, with his hair drooped down, Jimmy picked up the broken device. He accidentally touched some exposed wires, thus electrocuting him.

_“Okay, fine, if that’s the way you wanna do it, I give up. Forget about it all.”_   
_“Good to hear you finally came to your senses. By the way, your hair is on fire.”_   
_“HUH?!?”_

Goddard was able to extinguish the flame on his hair before it could spread, but also coating his owner in foam. Nick didn’t laugh. He felt he made the nerd suffer enough.

…………………..

Sheen was still glued to the TV. It’s a good thing Libby isn’t home yet, cuz otherwise she’d yell at him if she caught him watching cartoons instead of Toy Boy. It’s not like it will be any harm. It is a sack of flour after all, which means it won’t wander off anywhere. As the commercial break surfaced, Sheen could smell fresh goods from the kitchen. Instead of just sitting in front of a bunch of advertisements that don’t draw his amusement, he decided to take a quick snack break. There was his father, pulling a fresh baked loaf of bread out of the oven.

_“Hey son! How’s your project coming along?”_   
_“Handy dandy, just one step forward to getting that A! And, oh man, you baked homemade bread! WAY better than that bagged supermarket stuff!”_   
_“Indeed! Would you like a sandwich?”_   
_“Heck yeah! Nothing beats your homemade bre- Wait a minute, I thought we were out of flour?”_

Sheen turned his head to the high chair where he left Toy Boy, only to see that he was gone. He left his diaper and Ultralord pin behind. Sheen and his dad ran out of flour just yesterday, and he said he wouldn’t go grocery shopping till this Saturday. There’s only one explanation where the flour came from. Taking one gulp and heart skipping, he walked over to the trash. He didn’t wanna believe it, but it’s just a hunch. Toy Boy must be safe somewhere. Not only will he fail, but Libby will get angry. Opening the lid, he peeked inside, and–

_“Sheen, are you alright?”_   
_“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"_


	4. Coming To Terms

Three hours later, Carl came back to the Vortex residence, still dizzy from a brain-freeze. He may have used up his whole allowance, but it was worth it. All he needed was a couple of milkshakes to calm his nerves. Instead of hanging up the hat and coat properly, he just threw them onto the rack. The rack then lost balance and toppled over. He made his way into the kitchen, while mumbling about how mean Cindy could be. How would she feel if she ever found out he abandoned her on the project? No, it’s not like she would’ve cared. She was probably waiting for him to leave the house, since she refuses Carl to have any share of Petunia. It doesn’t look like she will be asking for any help sometime, and if she did, he won’t be the one she’ll come crying to. He opened the fridge door, raiding for a snack. All a sudden, he could sense a presence behind him. Carl took a quick look over his shoulder.

_“AAAAAAAHHHH!”_

There was Cindy, holding Petunia with only one hand, with the other one on her hip. She looked dead mad, and Carl swore he saw her green eyes turned red for a split sec. Despite how angry she was, she still held the baby very gently. However, she likely won’t be gentle with Carl. He could really use his best friend right now.

_“WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!”_   
_“I-i-I-i-I–”_   
_“STOP STUTTERING!”_   
_“But you’re making me nervous right now! When I’m nervous, I stutter!”_   
_“Hooray, you can speak clearly again! Now would you be kind as to explain why YOU WALKED OUT ON ME AND THE BABY LIKE THAT?”_   
_“I thought you already had everything under control, and you didn’t need me–”_   
_“You men are so worthless! You know how to bring children into this world, but you sure as heck don’t know how to take care of them!! Just because you make the money, doesn’t give you any right to neglect your beloved wife and child! All you husbands do is eat, lie around, and messy up the house!! You don’t give me any credit for all the potential I bring into this family! You know what?! I WANT A DIVORCE!”_   
_“YOU DON’T YOU TO BE SO MEAN!”_   
_“Excuse me?!”_

Carl had to speak up for himself, and that was either now or never. Cindy had to push his buttons far enough to get him to do so. What a hypocrite. First she won’t let him get anywhere near Petunia, let alone, look at her, and now she accuses him of being no help around. She never wanted his help ever since they got assigned with each other. It’s like she’s trying to take advantage of him just because he’s dimwitted and fragile. Determinately having to say how he feels, he could see what Jimmy has to put up with. Speaking of Jimmy, if he and her were accredited together, they would bring the house down.

_“How could you accuse me of not being any help?! I THOUGHT THAT’S WHAT YOU WANTED! You wouldn’t let me near Petunia, touch Petunia, or even look at Petunia! We were suppose to be in this together! I never got to do anything, just you! How am I gonna watch my little girl grow up if you keep pushing me away?! Are you gonna push me away from everything?! For when she goes to her first prom and graduates high school?! I haven’t even gotten the chance to hold her! Just so you know, Vortex, you may be the mother, BUT I’M THE FATHER! I should at least have the right to be there for my daughter when she needs me!”_

Carl finally learned how to give himself confidence without Jimmy’s help. But after his monologue, he deeply regretted it, shielding his face with both of his hands, saying _Please don’t hit me! That was sugar rush talk!_ Cindy didn’t look upset. Her expression looked like a mix between surprised and confused. She never thought she’d see the day this pathetic pufferfish would actually stand up against anyone without having Nerdtron aid him. Cindy held Petunia with both hands, looking down at her while she thought it out. Carl didn’t take his hands away from his face, since he was still expecting the worst. Instead, she took into consideration, handing him Petunia up front. The hands moved away from the face, but he didn’t feel it was safe to touch the baby yet.

_“I’m… …sorry, okay. If you want in on the project, here.”_   
_“Are you sure? You’re not gonna try to pull anything, are you?”_   
_“Why would I do that? Yes, I can be mean, mainly to the male species, but I give kudos to the weak who actually stand up tall for once. And… …you did make a point.”_

Gently taking the sack from her hands, he held Petunia up, looking at her face to face, even if she lacked one. Holding her felt so nice. He felt like a real father already. Carl hopes he can do more for his little Petunia then just hold her, and perhaps Cindy will let him.

_“Wow, Cindy. Thanks. And… I’m sorry for snapping like that.”_   
_“No biggie. I don’t blame you for getting angry. Now, don’t let out a word of this to anyone, cuz if anyone finds out I’ve been nice to you, they’ll think I’m nice to Jimmy, and then they will come to the conclusion that I…. …lIkE hIm. UGHHHHHHGHGH.”_   
_“You were nice to him once. I saw you.”_   
_“We were locked in a cellar!”_

……………..

_“I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO WATCH THE BABY?!”_

Sheen and Libby were in the kitchen once more, where a loaf of bread, which used to be their son Toy Boy, sat plated on the counter. The time Libby made it back, she knew what happened when the sweet sent of baked goods met her nose. Also by the way Sheen stared at it with fright, while sucking his thumb. Any fool would know what bread is made out of. For someone who kept giving their son attention all day, he sure doesn’t give any concern for Toy Boy’s safety. Now for the baby’s demise, Sheen’s to blame for. Just now, Libby was starting to intimidate him, for he knows this was all his fault. His father didn’t know anything about the project, or what they were working with. Not even the diaper it was wearing gave him any clue. Now cornered, Sheen had to confess to Libby up front, while crying too.

_“I’m sorry! I was the only one you could rely on, but then Ultralord was on at this hour…. ULTRALORD, LIBBY, and… WAAAHHHH, you were right! I am a bad father! If I had just paid attention in class, Toy Boy would still be with us today!”_   
_“Sheen, I never said you were a bad father.”_   
_“Huh?”_   
_“Well, you did the job wrong, but what do you know? You’re young, and so am I. We’re not ready to have a baby together. (I don’t think I ever wanna marry you, either). Maybe I’m no better at this either. Mrs. Pampers said this project was suppose to be a team effort, and what did we do all day? Pull and shove, debatin’ who’s right and who’s wrong. Maybe you would’ve understood better if I just been reasonable with you.”_   
_“Stop trying to make me feel better! I’m responsible for our son’s death!”_   
_“I’m responsible too, ya know.”_

Libby pulled him into a friendship hug, and Sheen returned it back in respect. However, she failed to notice the smug little grin he put on behind her back. He knew if he pulled his fake waterwork act, Libby would go easy on him. But, deep within him, he’s still grieving over Toy Boy.

_“Ya know, Sheen, I don’t know how we gonna break this up to Mrs. Pampers. We could tell her it was just an accident.”_   
_“Orrrrrrrrrr, we could just buy a replacement from the supermarket, and then nobody’s in trouble.”_   
_“For once, I actually agree with you.”_

………………

Carl wanted to make sure he had much fun as possible with Petunia before the day ends. Instead of getting in the way, Cindy just watched. He put the baby in the basket of his bike (which still had the training wheels on), and took her for a ride around the park. He met up with some other couples and their babies. Next, he bought two ice creams from a vendor, one for him, and one for his little girl. With the sack having no mouth, Carl just smushed the frozen treat all over her face. Cindy was gradually disgusted in what she was seeing, but she didn’t wanna interfere. Carl looked too happy. Next, he took her to the zoo, where he showed her animals of different varieties, mostly the llamas. He even tried to get Petunia to touch one of the llamas, but because of that, he got dragged out by security. He took her to the playground afterwards, pushing her on the swing, building sand castles with her, and going down the tube slide. Well, she only made it down. Cindy covered her mouth while giggling, watching Carl make a fool out of himself. Lastly, 6:47 PM, he took his daughter to a grassy field, with a beautiful sunset view.

_“WHEEEEEEEEEEE! ARE YOU SEEING THIS, CINDY?!”_

He was twirling little Petunia around in his arms. Living this fatherly experience was so pure to him. Although, he’s not ready for girls, he would settle for one big happy family. It would be nice having miniature Carls stomping their feet around the carpet. He would love a few little people to share his passion with. If he ever wanted to have children with anyone, that be Jimmy. He could feel the flour sack saying “Dada” to him. After twirling little Petunia around, he threw her into the air, catching her in his arms. He tried at it again, and again. Cindy smiled, watching the fat nerd boy enjoy himself. She can be one of the most meanest kids in Retroville, and she likes living this lifestyle, but for some reason doing a good deed had a very pleasing feel to it. Carl threw Petunia much higher in the air than he threw her before, and put his arms out, ready to catch. Unfortunately, he missed. Petunia fell with a hard splat, and a heavy amount of white powder launched upwards, also fogging up his glasses. After wiping his lens off, he took a good look at Petunia to see if she were okay. Too late for that.

_“PETUNIA!”_

Setting down on his knees, Carl stared at his now dismembered sack of flour.

_“I’m so sorry, Petunia. I’m sorry.”_

Carl picked up the opened sack and cradled it in his arms, with tears cascading down his face. Flour continued to pour down. It may have been just pretend, but it felt real to him. Carl attached himself to the sack ever since Cindy finally lend it to him. He wanted to prove to her that he could do a great job just as she could. He wanted to show her that he wasn’t the worthless allergy kid she views upon him as. Now, he may never have children in his upcoming future. Any parent knows that dropping your baby is a dangerous hazard. Cindy was indeed furious. She wanted to yell at him for screwing this whole thing up, but how could she when Carl was crying over the sack like it were a real deceased child? Making it worse for him would just be more unbearable. She gave him a soft pat on the shoulder.

_“It’s not your fault, Carl. You tried your best.”_

……………….

7:00 PM at the Neutron household. Jimmy was at his desk, burying his nose deep into a geometry textbook, his homework as usual. He was moving slower than how he normally studies, possibly due to Nick on his mind. Goddard entered the room and scratched at his owner’s chair, moaning in hunger.

_“I’ll feed you later, boy. Just two more chapters.”_

Disappointed, Goddard walked off to the corner, and laid there. Why does he have to be so stubborn? Even though Nick thought he was doing the boy genius a favor, he had no idea how important this project was to him, but it’s best if he didn’t find out. Nick would probably be crept out being crushed over by a boy. Not just any boy, but a boy who’s sunk down to the bottom of the food chain, behind Carl Wheezer. Jimmy thought it through: Maybe Nick’s not worth it. Watching him neglect Leonardo so many times, he’d probably do the same to a real baby. Aside from being a father, Nick doesn’t seem to be a suitable lover in general. Nick had been giving him some life hacking advice in the past, with sneaking out being the last, but some of his suggestions were a bit immoral for Jimmy’s taste. If they ever became an official item, Nick would likely drag Jimmy into situations he wouldn’t feel comfortable around, and get him in trouble for it. He questions himself: Why did he ever forgive Nick for chickening over a “chicken?”

Soft, faint singing entered the room. It came from his phon-o-ceiver, which Jimmy had forgotten he left on. Picking up his invention, he increased the volume, since he never heard that voice before. It couldn’t be recognized as his mom’s or dad’s. He can’t believe it; It was Nick’s voice. Why is he singing anyways? He got out from his room, then followed the voice. Peaking from behind the stairs’ banister, he saw Nick, rocking the sack back and forth, while serenading a lullaby. What happened to the stone hard Nick that consulted him on this “stupid project” hours ago? Jimmy continued to observe Nick as he not only sung it a lullaby, but also fed it and changed it too. He knew how to change a diaper better than he could. Nick probably wanted in on this assignment all along, he just had to make sure he was alone with the baby first. He was afraid Jimmy would judge him for being so tender, since nobody looks at him that way. After tucking Leonardo in, with a kiss goodnight, he saw Jimmy standing there, leaning casually against the wall. He was left frozen in place.

_“You saw nothing, Neutron!”_   
_“I already saw everything.”_   
_“You tell anyone about this, and I’ll strangle you with your own hair!”_   
_“It’s okay, Nick. I understand. Your secret is safe with me. Take a good friend’s word. And if I fail to keep it shut, you are welcomed to do your worse to me. If you like, I’ll leave you alone again with Leon, and forget everything that ever happened.”_

As Jimmy made one step on those stairs, Nick stopped him.

_“Neutron!”_   
_“Yes?”_   
_“Well, thinkin’ this project is important to you… …and I haven’t done anything in return for you, saving my mom from being chicken feed… Don’t take this personal, okay? If working together means so much to you, what do you say… …we start all over?”_   
_“You really mean that Nick?”_   
_“Sure, whatever. But on one condition.”_   
_“Yes?”_   
_“You be the mom, and I’ll be the dad.”_   
_“*Sigh* It’s a done deal.”_

The two then shook their hands on it.

…………………

The next day, everyone returned with their sacks. Most of them being broken, some of them were handled under another student’s care. Carl and Cindy got a C. Even though their sack is severely damaged, they still gave it their all. Libby and Sheen tried to pass off a different sack as their baby, but they could never deceive Mrs. Pampers, cuz she could tell it was a different brand. When the two showed what really happened to Toy Boy, they even brought the loaf with them, the teacher almost fainted, then graded them with an F-.

_“Couldn’t you just give us a B for bread?”_

Jimmy and Nick, of course, was awarded with an A+. Not only were they were the fewer students to bring their baby back in one piece, but they also learned how to cooperate. Jimmy looked upon Nick with a grin. He thought wrong about him. He may be as tough as nails, but somewhere inside, he’s hiding a cuddly soft teddy bear. Jimmy found himself lucky, being the only kid, and possibly the only human, to witness another side of Nick nobody ever got a chance to see. Working with Nick had been fun, a dream you might say, but too bad it ended so soon. Maybe him and Nick will reunite together some day, if the time is right. He’ll probably uncover more about him than he ever knew.

_“We did great, Nick.”_   
_“Don’t touch me.”_   
_“Sorry.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End, that's pretty much it!


End file.
